new year~ ATTEMPTING to be as positive as possible.

i applied for some other recommended job by indeed just now. i also just seen the ics worker who helped hang my new calendars around in my apartment and i called the housing company that they helped me fill out and send the application yesterday. i hope i didn't sound like a confused idiot because during the voice mail i left, i wondered if i was saying everything i needed and i hope i was specific enough. the ics worker was here when i left the message and she said she heard me leaving the message and i sounded like i was specific and thorough enough in the message. i guess all i have to do now is wait for them to respond. i always feel like there's something i should be doing when i'm not doing anything during days like this. i hope i'm not forgetting anything. that's the reason why when i'm unemployed- i feel like i'm going crazy half the time. i need something to keep me constructive and busy, so i don't have time to think about how much shit sucks for me. if i don't have a job- there's just extra time for me to be depressed. people who ACTUALLY CARE about me would recognize and do anything and everything within their power to help me. (NOT go mindlessly to some place where they just underestimate my ability, so they can make more money off me because no one pays attention to me anyway, so they can just take advantage of that and not actually help me. THE RIDICULOUS EXCUSES OF "SUPPORT" IN MY LIFE (my mom and amanda) are just condoning this shit because it's NOT THEIR LIVES OR PROBLEMS). whatever. enough negativity. you see what you guys encourage? OR ARE YOU TOO NAIVE TO UNDERSTAND? you're too fucking full of yourselves to even have the desire to understand WHAT i am saying. not my problem! I am NOT the naive one.